More Than I Could Ever Scream 004

I kicked open the car door and stood in the school car park. It was early, and I was one of the only people already here. After sleeping the rest of the day after I'd got home yesterday, I was fully recuperated, and ready for the shit that life decided to throw at me today.

Or possibly not, I thought as I caught sight of Andy pulling up and felt my heart trying to break though my ribcage. Deliberately, I turned away from him and immersed myself in my Chemistry folder while lounging against my car. I didn't look up again until he was right next to me.

"Ashley?" he said softly, as if asking permission. I desperately tried to look anywhere but into his gently smoldering blue eyes.  If I did, I might break down again.

"Ash, I need you to speak to me," Andy insisted, uncertainty and urgency edging his words.

Still not looking directly at him, I nodded to tell him that he could continue.

"... What have I done to make you hate me? I need to know, so... so I can fix it." Andy dropped his intense gaze, and I could finally allow myself to ogle his beauty.

It took a moment for me to remember to reply. "I don't hate you," I told him, keeping my voice quiet too. "I'm just..." In love with you, my head finished.

He shot me a questioning look, but didn't press the issue.  "Uh... okay. If you need to talk, or whatever, I'm here."

We both shifted uncomfortably, until he lightly touched my leather-jacketed arm and headed to the school building. I couldn't move. My veins were fizzing with molten fire and the arm he'd touched felt like it was burning. I could only stare after him helplessly as he walked away.

The only thing to shake me from my reverie was the arrival of Jake, CC and Jinxx. I didn't know if Jake and Jinxx were still pissed with me, so I hung around CC for the first lessons of the day.

Accidently catching Jinxx's eye at lunch break, I gathered my resolve and timidly apologized for yesterday.

"Dude, it's fine. Just, cut back on the wild partying and wild underage sex, okay?"

I promised to do as he said. I wasn't planning on going back to my old lifestyle anytime soon anyway. There was nothing in it for me anymore.  

To my surprise, Jake, CC and Jinxx had taken mine and Andy's cars at the end of the school day. It appeared none of them had their own cars and had decided to drive ours home. So, I ended up walking two miles home with Andy.

We walked in an awkward silence, while I was painfully aware of him right next to me. Occasionally I stole glances of his perfection, feeling each one like a stab at my inadequacy. But I couldn't make myself stop looking at him. He was like a drug.

Andy started humming one of the songs we'd been working on. I tried not to whimper in desolation. He was just so - so - there wasn't a word good enough to describe him.

-personswap-

Ashley's face was closed, expressionless. It was like he was trying to pretend I wasn't there. But earlier, he'd said that he didn't hate me. Had he been lying? Right now, it seemed a lot like he didn't like me.

I stopped humming, in case it was annoying him. I didn't try to speak to him again, though. He obviously had some kind of issue with me, so I wasn't going to talk to him unless he came up with a valid explanation for his behavior.

By the time we'd come to his house, he still hadn't said anything, so it startled me when he invited me inside. I followed him; maybe now he was going to tell me everything.

But 'everything' is a chaotic concept.